The background: I found a ceramic chochke that I named Reggie:

last month in a dollar store on Mission Street. I challenged anyone who cared to provide evidence of something uglier, and The Ugliest Thing in the World Contest kicked off to a blazing start, inspiring two dozen visually repulsive entries. My panel of judges was deadlocked for days, which just goes to show you can’t trust Congress to get anything done anymore. I stuck the jpegs on my facebook page and the final decision was put to a general vote. Unfortunately, everyone pretty much voted for his or her own entry.

So I decided to add a top-secret judging category: how much did any of the contestants actually care? Michael Madeiros got points for the most submissions (4); Eddie Muller got points for taking the trouble to send in a video of his entry, which was probably in truth the ugliest (and I think you would agree if you could see the video, which I think I’ve just inserted below, but I’m not sure it worked–if it doesn’t, email me if you care).

Eddie’s entry came from a department store in Barbados.

Dennis Sherman made lots of comments and actually got a couple of unsolicited votes for his own entry; but Shannon Hughes was the hands-down winner of the caring category, posting frequently to ask who won and at one point even leaving “vote for Shannon” pamphlets in our mailbox.

Shannon, this is the kind of dedication we think the world should award, so YOU WIN with the so-ugly-he’s-kinda-cute “Spookenheimer.”

What’s Shannon’s prize? REGGIE himself, to be sent as soon as she provides her mailing address.

Runners-up Dennis Sherman, Michael Madeiros and Eddie Muller will each receive a kazoo and a “Sam Barry for Mayor” bumper sticker.

Now (phew) we can get on with our lives (i.e. surfing the Internet).

Thanks to all.