So, you’ve decided it’s time to do some social media networking, but you feel “behind the curve” and confused by all the sites and terminology. Don’t worry! It’s really very simple. If you just dedicate a little time each day to the major social networking sites, which include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, StumbleUpon, Fwix, Digg, Sphinn, Mixx, Reddit, Tip’d, WikiLeaks, Google, Yahoo, Starbucks, Portal’s Tavern, Que Syrah, Safeway, and those guys who keep emailing you from Nigeria, you can be rich in a matter of weeks.
Which is not at all the point of social media. Social media communities are about fostering real relationships and real dialogue. It’s not about me, by which I mean you; it’s about community and the common good. In other words, it’s nothing like the selfish, grasping “real” world. Facebook is a good example of this—it means nothing to the founders of that site that it is now worth more than 50 billion dollars. “Dollars, schmollars,” is what the Facebook people say. They are all about community.
It’s important that you understand the communitarian quality of social media, even if you are a person who is desperately trying to sell more copies of your wonderful book How to Play the Harmonica: and Other Life Lessons, and would like some of the people who read and loved it to post their positive five-star reviews on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. Sure, you might want people to take notice of your really cool website and spread the world about the Author Enablers and their amazing, informative book Write That Book Already: the Tough Love You Need to Get Published Now, which could also use some more online five star reviews. That’s all fine. The point is, don’t ever let anyone know this is what you are trying to accomplish.
Social media are more appropriately used for advocating change and starting revolutions within oppressive regimes such as Walmart and FOX News. If you are using social media to drum up business, it is important that you act like you are doing anything but that. The days of companies with names like Standard Oil and International Business Machine and Microsoft are behind us; these are the days of powerhouses with cute names like Fwix.
Social media are changing the world. Soon we won’t need money anymore. Fame won’t matter. We will all be anonymous lovers of community, sharing everything across borders because there will be no more Borders, unless they manage to survive bankruptcy. Private property will cease to exist: I will be able to drive over to Mark Zuckerberg’s house and eat his food and watch his television, then borrow his car and drive over Sergey Brin’s place and plop down in his entertainment center and play some video games. Everyone will be able to do whatever they want: instead of going to work you can learn how to play the harmonica, and you (you know who you are) can finally stop talking about it and write that book already! In fact, that day is already here, just one click away.